so today was pretty uneventful. i somehow numbed my feelings causing me to neither be happy or sad. i was just there. a living, breathing being occupying one cubicle in an office where those around me busied themselves, progressing through the piles of work on their desks.
for me, time seemed to drag. the intensity of my feelings and moods are wearing me out leaving me exhausted. it just feels like the days are getting longer and longer, especially when you can't focus for more than 5 minutes to get your work done. tomorrow is friday and i hope knowing that the weekend is at the cusp of my sleeves, i'll be able to buckle down and show those invoices who's boss...then again it might make my focus THAT much worse.
some of you probably wonder why i even bother with this blog a.) because it bores you, b.) it bothers you, or c.) has no effect on you what-so-ever, but this blog serves as a therapy of sorts for me. it allows me to release the negativity and worries that i deal with on a daily basis, and it helps give you a little insight into the world and life of one variation of bipolar. maybe we all have something to learn from this. maybe you can help me get beyond this turmoil of the here and now, and in turn i can help you learn more about the disorder.
i must say that i have a much appreciated handful of people in my life that are doing all they can to help me seek the proper help i need. they know who they are and to you...i am thankful. surely we can pull through this together.
i'm super tired so i'm calling it a night.
tomorrow is a brand new day.
keep your fingers crossed that its a good one.
g'nite.
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