i woke up in an unusually good mood this morning, not sure what thats all about but i'm not complaining.
i have an appointment with my therapist, Beth Wade @ Memorial Church of Chirst, coming up on July 16. can't wait, we have so much to talk about and discuss. hopefully she can help get me out of this perpetual funk that has become my life. contrary to most of your beliefs, i really don't like being so pessimistic all the time. the interesting thing is, and i was thinking about this the other day, is that i didn't used to be like this. i can remember back in the day, high school especially, people would ask me why i smiled so much. i don't know if it was because i was trying to over-compensate for the fact that i was truly sad inside or if i was just THAT happy to be around other people my age and away from the turmoil at home. i used to have such high hopes and dreams for myself, now i'm some-what satisfied if i can make it through the day with a smile on my face. i want to get back to that place where i look forward to each new day and what it might bring me...perhaps i'll find it again one day.
i haven't been the best Christian i can be either. i know that i'm lacking in a lot of areas in my life, but this is one area that i should be on top of my game as much as possible. i don't read my Bible or pray regularly enough. i don't do enough for other people, heck i barely do enough for me other than dwell on the negatives and what i don't have. i want to be strong again. i used to actually attend every service/function/event that our Church held...now i do good to make Sunday mornings. i don't quite know when i fell away, but its time to get back into the swing of things.
if you pray, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as i'm on this journey to meld the old me with the new me, to find my place in this world and try to find the sane/rational Rachel again.
hope you have a super day. make it worthwhile for we aren't promised another moment to make memories and brighten someone's day.
much love, rae
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I think working on being a better Christian is a great place to start. I know that I could use some work in that area, too. Let me know if you want to go visit some people together. That would be a good way to get us both more active. ;o)
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